Once I watched a movie that is viewed by many as a classic. A monumental moment in cinema history. It involves spaceships…I like spaceships. It involves an excellent score…I like soundtracks. It involves a rogue robot…done. Sold. Take me on this epic adventure! Bring it!
Almost three hours later, I had finished a mostly silent film whose pace rivals that of the most terrifying creature on planet earth…the sloth. Not to mention, a giant space baby.
2001: A Space Odyssey left me feeling very lost, with little connection to the characters. It was long and I didn’t care about most of the scenes, beautiful as they were.
Fallout 4 has done the impossible. It has recreated this experience and expanded it to 30-40 hours of main-story-only gameplay.
Building off of the previous games, Fallout 4 has created a world. I mean, the apocalyptic landscape Bethesda has created is truly staggering. What to say about the environment? Holy cow dung. It is full of so much crap that politicians seem to spew ponies and butterflies when they speak. I can’t begin to describe everything you can find in this game because I haven’t even scratched the surface of what is out there.
Characters in Fallout 4…let’s see…there are a lot of them. And they all have something they want, need, or collect…more about that in gameplay. Most of these characters have backstories and different tales to tell you. Many of them want to tell you about themselves, and I did not always want to take the time to listen. If I had any desire to spend my days listening to every human I run into ramble on about what may or may not have happened to them in the past I would visit the local nursing home instead of playing a video game. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good side quest with backstories that are engaging, such as ones found in The Witcher III or even Persona 4. But Fallout 4’s characters were so unbearably boring I couldn’t even tell you why I was doing what I was doing. This became painfully obvious when my wife wandered in after she was finished working in her studio for the day.
“Uh…I’m uhh…well…someone told me something and then an objective popped up on my map here…sooo…here I am…”
But, let’s remember, I had an eerily similar conversation with my wife about one of my addictions…Diablo III. Gameplay saved the day in that case, so what about this time?
There is a lot to do. A LOT. If that is your thing, then this game is for you. If you love Skyrim I would imagine you would enjoy this experience. I enjoy a game with lots to do, however, there is a fine line between being a questing hero and a golden retriever. Some games toy with this line like a cat with a mouse. Many blunder and stumble across like a drunk attempting to walking the line. A few very special games walk this line with the grace of an Olympic gymnast.
Fallout 4 is the fighter jet blasting over the line on full afterburners.
Let me explain: I made the mistake of making eye contact with a woman. She explained something to me. At the time I was paying attention, but I’ve forgotten now because it was as boring as an art gallery to Helen Keller. But this was early on so I was trying.
I had to get something for her.
I got it.
She needed another.
I got it.
She needed another.
I got it.
This went on quite awhile. Before I knew it, the time I had allotted to myself to play had been taken up by…this. There’s no story there. Honestly, there doesn’t feel like a point. The only rewards I’m getting are experience while doing the pointless bidding of someone else. I don’t come home from work, dive into comfy clothes, and turn on my system to replay my day at the office.
If you like Fallout 4, my brain can’t fathom how many hours you could sink into it. I hardly mustered the strength to even try and finish (which I did not). I wanted characters with real stories…I wanted to get awesome items…both of which are present in Fallout 4. But those moments are so few and far between that a child whose birthday is on February 29th has more cause to celebrate.
For myself, I am done. I can’t go back. The thought of opening Fallout 4 fills me with more dread than the next Star Wars movie. Sure, it’s destroying something from my childhood that I love, but at least there’s something there to destroy.
It took me a long time to write another review, and I blame Fallout 4. This game actually made gaming feel like work and I don’t know about you guys and gals…when I game, working is the last thing I want to be doing. This game has gotten amazing reviews and the only way I can understand this phenomena is that to most main stream game reviewers…it is a job. Maybe it doesn’t register that its work because to them…it’s work already.
I believe the best game experience to compare would be Destiny before The Taken King. Destiny was so brutally stingy with anything enjoyable that there was no reason to continue playing unless you could play all day. Fallout 4 is exactly the same. There are plenty of awesome things which I am fully aware are out there, but they are unattainable because I don’t have a TARDIS. I’m afraid until I become a Time Lord, Fallout 4 will only collect dust on my shelf.